10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"