10 Random Poker Quotes

• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."