10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.