10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
- "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
- How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
- Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
- "What've you got, Layne?"
"You BEAT."
Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow.
$ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day
2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic
Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
- "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
- "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
- For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
- Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
- How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.