10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Fold and live to fold again
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"