10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs