10 Random Poker Quotes

• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz