10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!