10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!