10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---