10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP