10 Random Poker Quotes

• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.