10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)