10 Random Poker Quotes

• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.