10 Random Poker Quotes

• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz