10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.