10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.