10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls