10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.