10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."