10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "All-in, bitches!!!"