10 Random Poker Quotes

• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.