10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician