10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.