10 Random Poker Quotes

• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen