10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "No river, no fish."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson