10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.