10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus