10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.