10 Random Poker Quotes

• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders