10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"