10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• It's Free To Fold...
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword