10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• It's Free To Fold...
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright