10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion