10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Poker is for loners.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.