10 Random Poker Quotes

• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "No river, no fish."
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?