10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.