10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm