10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977