10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.