10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.