10 Random Poker Quotes

• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls