10 Random Poker Quotes

• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)