10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.