10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]