10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."