10 Random Poker Quotes

• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "No river, no fish."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts