10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."