10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha