10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Poker is for fat, American losers.